Chinese New Year is a time for family, food, and fun.
But let us be real.
It is also a time for those awkward, irritating questions from relatives.
You know the ones:
- When are you getting married?
- Why are you still single?
- When are you having kids?
- How much do you earn?
These questions can make even the most festive person want to hide in the bathroom. But do not worry.
This guide will help you handle those questions like a pro.
Why Do Relatives Ask These Questions?
Before we look at how to answer, let us understand why relatives ask these questions in the first place.
1. They Care (Sort Of)
Most relatives mean well. They ask because they genuinely care about your life and want to see you happy.
2. They Are Nosy
Let us face it. Some relatives are just nosy. They love poking their noses into other people’s business. You know? The first to get the info will win!
3. They Are Making Small Talk
Sometimes, relatives ask these questions because they do not know what else to talk about. It is their way of filling the silence.
How to Answer Irritating Questions
Here are some strategies to handle those awkward questions without losing your cool.
1. The Deflection Technique
Instead of answering directly, steer the conversation to a different topic.
Example:
Relative: “When are you getting married?”
You: “Oh, marriage is such a big topic! By the way, how is your new dog doing?”
2. The Humor Approach
Use humor to lighten the mood and avoid giving a serious answer.
Example:
Relative: “Why are you still single?”
You: “I am waiting for someone as amazing as you to set me up!”
3. The Vague Answer
Give a vague response that does not reveal too much.
Example:
Relative: “How much do you earn?”
You: “Enough to get by, but not enough to retire yet!”
4. The Honest but Polite Response
If you are comfortable, be honest but keep it polite.
Example:
Relative: “When are you having kids?”
You: “We are focusing on other priorities right now, but we will let you know when the time comes.”
5. The Reverse Question
Turn the question back on them.
Example:
Relative: “Why are you still renting? When are you buying a house?”
You: “The property market is so crazy right now. How did you manage to buy your house?”
6. The Exit Strategy
If all else fails, excuse yourself and walk away.
Example:
Relative: “Why are you still single?”
You: “Oh, I think I hear my mom calling me. Excuse me!”
7. The “Things Are Expensive, Can You Lend Me Money?” Strategy
If the questions get too personal or intrusive, flip the script by highlighting how expensive life is and asking for help. This can shut down the conversation quickly.
Example:
Relative: “When are you buying a house?”
You: “Houses are so expensive these days. Can you lend me some money for the down payment?”
Relative: “When are you having kids?”
You: “Raising kids is so costly. Can you sponsor their education?”
This approach not only deflects the question but also makes the relative think twice before prying further.
Common Irritating Questions and Suggested Responses
Here are some of the most common questions and how you can answer them.
1. “When are you getting married?”
- “When I find someone as amazing as you!”
- “I am still enjoying my single life. No rush!”
- “I am waiting for the stars to align.”
- “When I stop enjoying my freedom too much.”
- “Maybe next year, if you help me find someone!”
2. “Why are you still single?”
- “I am waiting for the right person to come along.”
- “I am focusing on my career right now.”
- “I am too busy traveling and having fun.”
- “I am single by choice, not by chance.”
- “I am waiting for someone who can handle my awesomeness.”
3. “When are you having kids?”
- “We are enjoying our time as a couple for now.”
- “Kids are a big responsibility. We will let you know when we are ready.”
- “When we win the lottery and can afford a nanny.”
- “We are practicing patience first.”
- “When the world becomes a better place.”
4. “How much do you earn?”
- “Enough to pay the bills and enjoy life!”
- “I am doing okay, but I would rather not talk about money.”
- “Enough to keep me happy but not enough to retire yet.”
- “I earn enough to avoid asking you for loans.”
- “Let us just say I am not a billionaire yet.”
5. When are you buying a house?
- “The property market is so expensive right now. I am saving up.”
- “I like the flexibility of renting for now.”
- “I am waiting for the perfect house to fall from the sky.”
- “I am still looking for a house with a built-in Ang Bao machine.”
- “When I find a house that comes with a free car.”
6. “Why did you choose that career?”
- “I love what I do, and it makes me happy.”
- “It is a long story, but I am really enjoying it.”
- “Because it allows me to afford my bubble tea addiction.”
- “I wanted a job that lets me nap at work.”
- “It chose me, and I am just going with the flow.”
Satirical and Sarcastic Responses
If you are feeling bold and want to add a little humor (or sass) to your answers, here are some satirical and sarcastic responses. Use these at your own risk!
1. “When are you getting married?”
- “When you stop asking me that question.”
- “I am waiting for a proposal from my cat.”
- “When I find someone who can tolerate my Netflix addiction.”
- “When I stop enjoying my own company too much.”
- “When I win the lottery and can afford a wedding.”
2. “Why are you still single?”
- “Because I enjoy my peace and quiet.”
- “I am single-handedly keeping the matchmaking industry alive.”
- “I am too busy being fabulous.”
- “I am waiting for someone who can keep up with my sarcasm.”
- “I am single because I am too awesome for just one person.”
3. “When are you having kids?”
- “When I figure out how to return them if they are too noisy.”
- “I am still trying to teach my plants to survive first.”
- “When I find a manual on how to raise perfect kids.”
- “When I stop enjoying my sleep too much.”
- “When I can afford a full-time nanny and a chef.”
4. “How much do you earn?”
- “Enough to buy you a one-way ticket to Mars.”
- “Not enough to afford your level of curiosity.”
- “Enough to keep me in bubble tea for life.”
- “I earn enough to avoid asking you for loans.”
- “Let us just say I am not Elon Musk yet.”
5. When are you buying a house?
- “I am waiting for the housing market to crash so I can buy your house.”
- “I prefer to keep my options open, like my love life.”
- “I am waiting for a house that comes with a free butler.”
- “When I find a house that cleans itself.”
- “I am still saving up for a house with a built-in Ang Bao machine.”
6. “Why did you choose that career?”
- “Because I wanted to make just enough money to avoid your questions.”
- “It is my backup plan in case my dream of being a professional napper fails.”
- “I chose it because it lets me work in my pajamas.”
- “Because it pays for my bubble tea addiction.”
- “It is the only job that lets me nap during meetings.”
How to Stay Calm and Collected
Dealing with irritating questions can be stressful. Here are some tips to help you stay calm.
1. Prepare Ahead of Time
Think about the questions you might get and plan your answers. This will help you feel more confident.
2. Take Deep Breaths
If a question annoys you, take a deep breath before responding. This will help you stay calm.
3. Remember It Is Temporary
Chinese New Year house visits only last a few hours. Keep reminding yourself that it will be over soon.
4. Focus on the Positive
Instead of dwelling on the annoying questions, focus on the good parts of the visit, like the food and catching up with family.
The Good Vibes
Chinese New Year is a time for celebration, but it can also be a time for awkward conversations. With these tips, you can handle those irritating questions like a pro and enjoy the festivities without stress.
Remember, it is okay to set boundaries and protect your peace. At the end of the day, Chinese New Year is about family, love, and good vibes.
So, keep smiling, stay calm, and enjoy the season!